We all know that Yao Ming is China’s hero and one of the most marketable players on the planet. Not to mention, he is a great player. Now you can add influential political figure to his portfolio
We all know that President Obama is a big basketball fan. The President is smart enough to know that Yao is one of the most popular Chinese citizens, if not the most popular. Whatever else you think of the man, Obama knows how to warm up to people. In his recent trip to China, the Commander in Chief dropped Yao’s name into a speech that may have made him a few million new friends. President Obama said “I have learned from the words of Yao Ming, who said, ‘No matter whether you are new or an old team member, you need time to adjust to one another.’ Well, through the constructive meetings that we’ve already had, and through this dialogue, I’m confident that we will meet Yao’s standard.”
This made me wonder what would happen if Obama used other NBA players to shape his ideas about foreign policy.
For example, if Ron Artest was one of the most popular citizens in one of the largest countries in the world, and Obama wanted to use one of his quotes to win the populace over he could say, “I have learned from the words of Ron Artest, who said, ‘If there was a fight between the fans who loved me or booed me, I think the boos would have won.’ I am confident that we can change our relationship so that if there was a fight between the people in your country who hate the US and the people in your country who love the US, well, I could send Ron Artest over here to beat all of them down and then just start building more McDonald’s and Starbucks.”
Or what if Charles Barkley was actually royalty in some far away, really fun country? Obama might use this line: “I have learned from the words of Sir Charles Barkley who said, ‘I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I’d work for the Klan.’ I am confident that with the intervention of enough special interest groups we can avoid ever making any significant policy change, and the citizens of your great country can continue to guzzle booze into the morning hours and blow all of the aid we send you at the craps table of Monte Carlo. I am confident we will meet Sir Charles’ standard.”
Finally, what if Dennis Rodman was the most popular citizen in a country called Wormistan? Obama would certainly use the line: “I have learned from the words of Dennis Rodman, ‘Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is ten, or something.’ It is important the U.S and Wormistan realize that after today’s discussion, our chemistry will be better than ever. Depending on what the fuck chemistry means, of course.”
Ahhh…what a world it would be.
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